The Smile That Dare Not Be Named

You love it so much, that you want to shout to everybody how wonderful it is. But you can't. It's all very strange. I have just had teeth whitening and it whitened my teeth by almost 15 shades! Believe me, that is a lot - and when the start point was pretty bad (could just about be registered as the darkest possible) - you realise how bad my teeth were.
 
But I now love smiling - and see if people notice. But no-one mentions it - although they do say that I look more relaxed and happy after my holiday - having my teeth whitened is not what I am about to tell them - in case they are embarrassed by having to admit that they recognised my teeth were bad in the first place but didn't mention anything or that I am vain enough to care.
 
Now I know what it is to have breast enlargements or cosmetic surgery. It is all about self worth and esteem. You know you just don't feel right amongst your peers. My wifes teeth are fantastically white - but weak. Mine are strong but coloured. As are my sisters, so it is a genetic thing.
 
My wife says it is all down to hygiene, but I am told that is not so. Your teeth acquire colour over time and this procedure simply breaks up the colour so it becomes transparent or white again. It is more likely to do with diet though: because I am told to avoid orange or any citrus juice (unless through a straw) - or fizzy drinks: both of which have been a weakness of my past.
 
Of course, I don't smoke at all or drink excessively - although I am indifferent to redwine - more likely to go for white or champagne. So my cause and my achievement should be really straightforward to maintain.
 
So for £250 pounds I can have the procedure carried out every 2 years or to top up with my own trays and peroxide solution. So maybe I will monitor the situation and just top up.
 
What a pity I cannot tell anyone about it!